We put our dog, Eli, down on Saturday, October 2, 2010. He was a Boxer-Rhodesian Ridgeback mix, and was at least 14 years old. It was so hard. We waited with him at the vet's, and despite the tumors and his bowels and the near-blindness and the hoarse bark and the skinniness and the hearing loss, he was still himself. He was so excited to get on the leash and go with us. He was so trusting and explored the office like he always did. It was so hard! As they inserted the needle, and I petted his face, and talked to him, I wanted to yell "No! Don't do it! We'll figure something out!" It was so fast and he was just gone.
Eli was with us through so much. Countless moves (was it only 7?), 4 kids, a separation, his surgery, 2 other dogs joining our family... We just couldn't bear to put him down because we loved him so much and just put up with all his physical deterioration. (Good thing we had the hard flooring!) As I remembered him I was brought back to all the times and places we've been.
In California, we were carefree and enjoying life, the Air Force training we received, the gorgeous location... we decided to get a Boxer because James had one when he was young. We contacted a Boxer rescue and told them we'd like a small female Boxer. We drove over an hour north to meet one they thought would be a good match. We walked around the side of the foster house towards a 4-foot tall fence. Intermittently a brown dog's head would bound up over the fence. We came up to the fence and there was a huge dog, jumping vertically, like Tigger. What?! A Boxer mix- a Rhodesian Ridgeback, no less- a dog bred to hunt lions- a MALE, and with huge teeth. He was 2 or 3 years old, his ears were asymmetrical and his tail was docked. His previous owner had gone to jail. He had a few nicks on his face, bald spots in the shape of a cut, as if he had fought with other dogs.
Well, he was a bundle of love, and we piled him into our tiny pathetic Toyota Corrola. The back seat had 2 seatbelts, and was anchored to the floorboards only in the middle, so each side bowed into the outer wall. If Eli moved out of the middle of the backseat, he was sort of thrown to the floor. I was bribing him with Wendy's french fries and James was chanting "Good boy, Eli, Good dog, Eli, Eli, Eli, Eli!" so that he would learn that he was no longer "Max." When I ran out of french fries I remember looking back into the back seat, at that huge animal with those big teeth and that bright pink, lolling tongue, and thinking, "what have we done?!"
What an adventure it was, getting to know Eli and what it was like to have a big dog in the house. The first night we put him in his new kennel and he cried so convincingly that we opened the bedroom door for him- he bounded up on the bed instantly, and never again was in a kennel. The first day we left him in the kitchen because we didn't know how he'd treat the house. It was like waiting for Christmas all day, to go home and see him. He heard us coming and was waiting for us... we decided to see how he'd do for an hour or so while we went to PT (physical training in the AF). We came back to a perfect house and a dog sleeping curled up on the couch- he lifted his head, "where'ya been?" We had bought some couches from a couple that smoked in the home. I kept Febrezing them, but for about a week we joked that Eli was home all day smoking while we were at language school.
His energy and life- he'd leap over the chain link fence in an effortless bound and go after some critter. He and I were on a walk once and I wasn't paying attention, and he jerked the leash right out of my hand, pulling me - literally- right out of my slippers. He lounged with me on the hammock in our living room, and took over our king-size bed during the course of a night. We sent him to doggie boot camp and the trainer said his back was as wide as an aircraft carrier, and that he would have to lose some weight. We used to take him to the abandoned part of Fort Ord, CA and go to the old tennis courts and play frisbee with him off-leash.
Once we had some people over for dinner- James grilled some steaks to perfection. They were served up on the plates and we were talking. To our horror, Eli had stuck his head up between one of our friends' arms and the table, and while maintaining perfect eye contact with James, he licked the side of our friend's steak at least twice before we reacted.
He loved my father-in-law and knew that with him, he was welcome as a lap dog, slowly working his way under Jack's arm and up into his lap. He had a trot line when Jackson was a baby, on a short backyard in military housing. He would hi-step it through the snow and hurry back to our leather couch as quickly as he could. His entire body would tremble with anticipation when he would watch the squirrels playing on "his" deck. He was mournful without us once when we boarded him for a week in Texas. He loved squeak toys and ignored the Kong, unless it was filled with peanut butter, after which he'd make out with it for an hour. He did briefly have an over-appreciation for men's shoes- that were still on their feet. He'd open his big mouth over their foot and just hover there, above their foot, moving as they tried to walk. It was really annoying!
Once, when I was pregnant with Claire, he got out of the time-share at the beach and was running around exploring the parking lot. I was hormonal and frantic. I was terrified he was going to get hit by a car. He was like my first child! A car slowed to look at us as we stupidly chased him. They rolled down their window at James' frantic gesturing. "Open the door!" he yelled, hoping Eli would try to hop in and we could corner him in the doorway. "Yeah, right!" was the response. I looked at Eli with new eyes- I knew who he was, but to these strangers he was just a big hulking dog. When I introduced people to Eli, I warned them that he would soon be asleep on the couch. I just didn't think of him as a threatening looking dog. He sat in front of me, strangely protective, before I knew I was in labor with Claire. (here he is, with Claire as an infant, 2001)
(here he is meeting Jackson for the first time, 2003)
When we moved back to Texas in 2005 he was a tad older, but we only noticed it when we looked back. He spent more time on the couch, but would run a path in the grass next to the fence where he would growl at the neighbor's Doberman. When James and I were separated, I worried about Eli until he finally came up to Round Rock. He lived in our downstairs living/dining room, and welcomed me when I came down each morning. I would listen for the clink of his tags on his black leather collar as he raised his head to see me, and then we'd have a quick morning walk before the day started. In January of 2007 he had his first serious tumor removed in a surgery. They told us that based on his bloodwork, his liver could begin to fail, and that a sign of it would be when he began to drink huge amounts of water.
We got our dog Stella in the fall of 2007. She took years off Eli's age as they formed a friendship and wrestled and played. He was frolicking and pouncing again, and we realized how quiet he had become. He welcomed our fourth baby into the house, but he wasn't as patient with our last two kids as he was with our first two. If anyone leaned on his hips, or messed with his legs, he would jump off the couch or give a warning noise. He never bit or nipped anyone, except once James' hand (long ago) when they were wrestling- and he knew it right away, and rolled over onto his back for James.
He started to have allergies again, something he hadn't struggled with for years. We put him back on his old diet- carrots, broccoli & kale (chopped up in the food processor) with cottage cheese and yogurt mixed in, and eggs on top. See how much we loved him? Every 9 days or so I'd make his dinner, and we kept it in a big bin in the fridge. If he had any other food (besides a carb) he'd puke on the floor within minutes. Then he had to start eating his meals outside, or else he'd "have an accident" on the floor as soon -literally- as he finished eating. See how much we loved him?
He began to steal food off the counters, out of the kids' hands, out of the pantry even. Whole loaves of bread. Once he ate about 2 pounds of carrots, 3 nectarines, and an apple off the counter.What a weirdo.
He began drinking and drinking and drinking. He couldn't keep weight on. He couldn't hear us very well, and he stopped catching the food we'd toss at him, because he couldn't see it as well. But he wagged his tail, and got up to go pee each day, and barked at the window and ran to the door. He would still bark to come in when he was done outside- nothing but an indoor dog, this one! He never cried or seemed uncomfortable, and aside from some random backwards kicks during the day, his legs seemed ok. However, when I got Stella's vaccinations I didn't get Eli's. I knew he was going to have to go down soon, but I couldn't bear it if he didn't seem uncomfortable. But I knew it was really coming when I didn't get his rabies shot this year.
When our house flooded, and James and I were sloshing back and forth, Eli laid curled up on the armchair the entire time. He would look up at us periodically as if to ask why we were interrupting an old man's sleep. We brought him to my parent's house the next day, but had to keep him outside. He barked himself hoarse all through the night. We found a foster home for him where he stayed for over 2 weeks. However, she was undergoing radiation for breast cancer and it was too much to ask for her to take care of such an old man too. Another friend did it for a week, but we had to take him back. We had barely seen him in a month. He had worn his upper lip raw, no fur at all, just a bright pink mustache. His voice was still coarse and he was noticeably skinnier, although our friend had been over-feeding him. I couldn't imagine having one of them calling us, saying he had died the night before. What must he think of us, abandoning him like this after so long together?
We knew the time was coming. We didn't know where we were going to be living, where to bury him. I couldn't bear for them to stuff him in a trash bag, freeze him, and stick him in a landfill. We brought him upstairs to sleep with us, since he was so miserable on the patio in the kennel. He was up and down all night, wandering, sniffing around. We made an appointment, and canceled it. We talked about his fate as we walked with him the 6 acres of my parent's property. He nearly fell in the pond, and tripped on the stones out in nature.
We made another appointment. Finally, James made himself dig a hole in the field near the pond. It was extremely hard, breaking up the stones with a pick. I dropped the kids off at a friend's and used her sewing machine to sew Eli's shroud. I used the top sheet from an old set of my father-in-law's sheets. It was time. All morning Eli had been walking around off-leash, following James around the yard. How often and how long we had wanted him to do that!
He was and always be our Eli. An era in our family is over.
1996-2010